Michael Bolton - Michael Bolton
1983 CBS

Track Listing:
1.  Fool's Game
2.  She Did The Same Thing
3.  Hometown Hero
4.  Can't Hold On, Can't Let Go
5.  Fighting For My Life
6.  Paradise
7.  Back In My Arms Again
8.  Carrie
9.  I Almost Believed You

Line-Up:
Vocals:  Michael Bolton
Guitars:  Michael Bolton, Bruce Kulick, Bob Kulick, Craig Brooks, Scott Zito
Bass:  Mark Clarke, Scott Zito
Drums:  Chuck Burgi, Michael Braun
Keyboards:  Mark Mangold, Scott Zito, Aldo Nova, Jan Mullaney, George Clinton, Doug Katsaros

Website:  www.michaelbolton.com

Horatio's Rating:  A+
Average Album Rating:  A+

Horatio's Review:
I'm certain there's someone right now in disbelief that a Michael Bolton album is being reviewed here.  If so, this is for you.  I've always been annoyed at the media's portrayal of Bolton as a crooner who appeals only to middle aged woman, with little substance to his music.  I try to suppress these thoughts, but they are perpetuated by such shoddy programming as VH-1's 'Least Metal Moments', in which a selection of under whelming individuals such as Riki Rachtman, Warrant, LA Guns, Scott Ian and three 'metal experts', one of whom is a lady-man called Eric Bohnenstiel, wax poetical about some of metal's more supposed embarrassing moments.  Included naturally were Kip Winger and Bolton.  Winger I'll save for a later day, but Bolton has to be done justice, here and now. 

These schmucks mocked Bolton's image, suggesting his attempts at hard rock were a joke, including his Blackjack albums and solo work up until 1985.  Here we have the likes of Scott Ian claiming Bolton had no place in metal, his attempts to be a rocker were forced and phony.  Well, consider this homo, Michael Bolton is one of the greatest vocalists ever and this album is one of my top three albums of all time.  Bolton's use of melody on his self titled album is almost unmatched, with a vocal  display few have ever come close to matching.  For those who think Bolton can't rock check out 'Hometown Hero' or 'Fighting For My Life'.  It puts Megadeth and Anthrax to shame.  This AOR masterpiece was nearly bettered by Bolton's 1985 'Everybody's Crazy', the definition of perfect hard rock/AOR.  Laugh all you will, but I'll fight any punk who cares to disagree.  I'm so fed up with the constant myths that have spread about artists like Bolton being a joke that it makes my blood boil.  This may be more a rant than an album review, but tough luck.  All you nerds out there listening to Otep and Atreyu, I'm coming for you with a baseball bat.

Song summaries include...

1. Fool's Game - The glorious synthesizers, the melodic riffing, Bolton's rich vocals, every possible ingredient needed for faultless AOR is present here.  A magical moment in music history and possibly the greatest opener on any album I've ever heard.  Bolton's guitar solo is on target also, showing no end to the mans talent.  A+

2. She Did The Same Thing - In AOR fields Bolton is known as 'Sir', such was his importance to the once great genre.  Here he gets heavy handed and dramatic as only he can.  This is music for adults, no geek kid could appreciate the subtlety and genius on offer here.  I've heard this song more than a thousand times and it's still as fresh as it was on that July day in 1997 when I first heard it.  A+

3. Hometown Hero - Brilliant lyrics about a big time rocker returning home to the fame and adulation in his hometown.  Bolton didn't exactly set the charts on fire with this album, barely cracking the top hundred, the man paying his dues.  Definitive hard rock.  A+

4. Cant Hold On, Can't Let Go - More superlative AOR, with Aldo Nova guesting, adding to the atmosphere.  Timeless.  A

5. Fighting For My Life - Bolton has no depth to his songwriting does he?  All image and no real talent to speak of, just a fraud.  Of course.  Maybe I just described Scott Ian.  This track contains more passion and desperation than anything you're likely to hear.  Bolton puts all his might into his vocals, giving the impression of a man on the edge, trying to save his life from the abyss.  And we've all been there and thought that about ourselves haven't we?  About how life seemed easier when we were younger, only to realize things change and there's no way to go back.  Simple idea?  Well that's what Bolton's telling here, to a backdrop of heavy riffs and thrilling chord changes which might be too advanced for the majority of you.  This is genuine hard rock for the common man.  A+

6. Paradise - Bolton's genius is sealed with this upbeat AOR cut, which is the total antithesis to the previous track and brings the listener some hop after being dragged down emotionally previously.  That's the sign of a magician at work, the ability to use different shadings to shift moods so easily.  Brings a tear to the eye.  A+

7. Back In My Arms Again -  A cover.  B

8. Carrie - Textbook early 80's AOR.  The chorus captures all the energy of the decade, the backing vocals in another dimension.  Many cite punsters like Steve Perry and Lou Gramm as AOR vocal legends, but they're notably tenth rate opposed to Bolton.  A-

9. I Almost Believed You - The perfect ballad, as Bolton pours his guts out to the listener.  How could anyone not appreciate what effort he puts forth?  If the blind and uninitiated were exposed to this they would automatically consider it appalling just because it's Bolton and what all the critics say on TV must be true right?  To VH-1 and their utter spilth programming, screw you and everyone associated with the station, especially the 'Metal Experts' who collectively have as much credibility as a rapist.  This is a classic album and Bolton is a classic artist, a rock legend.   No more lies.  A+

Horatio's Rating:  A+