Iron Maiden - Fear Of The Dark
1992 EMI
by Horatio

Quick Summary:
There are two ways of looking at 'Fear Of The Dark'.  Firstly that it's clearly the worst Dickinson-era Maiden album ever, or secondly that it's such a piece of unrequited shit with a high quotient of throwaway tracks that (perhaps) it's a classic for that exact reason.  That 'Fear Of The Dark' is such an enjoyable atrocity should have come as no surprise, two years earlier during the recording of the immortal 'No Prayer For The Dying' rumours were rife that Bruce was ready to quit.  He didn't, but his departure was inevitable, and 'Fear Of The Dark' reflects this, a tired sounding album, which highlighted how worn out Maiden were.

It's not all bad, but for every 'Be Quick Or Be Dead' there's a bomb like 'Wasting Love', or likewise 'From Here To Eternity' to a mammoth dud like 'The Apparition'.  'Fear Of The Dark' might have worked as an E.P., of which 'Judas Be My Guide', 'Chains Of Misery' and the title cut might have made the grade, but reviled tracks like 'Weekend Warrior' and 'Childhoods End' merely serve to bring it down.  They only exist I think to warn fans of the crap that was to come with Blaze Bayley.  '2 AM' anyone?  How about 'Como Estais Amigos'?  As this was one of my earliest memories of the lads it holds a place near to my ass.  In the end you can only laugh out loud at how far Maiden had sunk.  Even when they're bad they're good.  With tripe this bad, how could you go wrong?  Hurry to your nearest second hand record store now, a used copy awaits!

Website:  www.ironmaiden.com

Song Summaries:

1. Be Quick Or Be Dead - Now this is the way to start things.  Fast and deadly.  The way metal should be.  Shame Maiden have forgotten that. A
2. From Here To Eternity - On the basis of the first two tracks you might have thought this was going to be a classic!  Vintage British metal, with a group chorus that harkens back to AC/DC.  What the hell happened to the Charlotte The Harlot songs anyway?  Too old and serious for a bit of nonsense these days?  A
3. Afraid To Shoot Strangers - I hate this for one reason, that it predated the direction many Maiden tracks would take for the imminent future.  Starts out slow and atmospheric with keyboard use, guitar and drums kick in slowly, then a brief burst of speed and suddenly back to where they started, slow.  This style has been so plundered since that it has become stunningly predictable.  Fuck off with it already.  Just play some three minute metal why don't you!  C
4. Fear Is The Key - Now the slop really starts.  It doesn't feel like Maiden, especially that chugging riff and the constant, GAY keyboards.  Where's the urgency?  What the fuck is this?  D
5. Childhoods End - Come on now. Imagine the punters in 1992 listening to this for the first time and the looks on their faces as they digested this.  'The struggle for the power, a tyrant rises again, just what the hell is going on?'  Well Steve what was going on?  Why did you become so serious?  Stick to writing about assassins and Russian czar's.  D
6. Wasting Love - The disconsolate opening riff is so pathetic and miserable isn't it?  A ballad?  For Maiden?  By now it was too late to try such maneuvers.  I don't think I've ever sat through all of this. I'm not going to now either.  F
7. The Fugitive - In it's own way this could be the worst track yet.  How much thought goes into a song so stale and uninspired?  'Hey lads' says Steve, 'how about a track called The Fugitive?'  'Okay Steve, let's just rewrite 'The Prisoner', except fifty times worse.'  So bland, and really it's not even heavy, just a plodding mess.  Fuck off.  F
8. Chains Of Misery - Someone must have had an AC/DC fetish during the recording.  That can only explain the hilarious chorus, which comes off like a reject from 'The Razor's Edge'.  By the way, did I tell you how gay Bruce looks in the group photo in front of the castle with his homo, near knee length boots?  A mess of a man.  Great song anyway. B
9. The Apparition - The lyrics for this shitstain comprise a whole page.  It reads like a bad college essay I might have written ten years ago.  The horrible structure is to blame, going nowhere in the verses, just Bruce reciting the lyrics to a repetitive beat.  The fast section is impressive, classic Maiden guitar work, which redeems this on so may occasions.  Harris was way off form here.  C- 
10. Judas Be My Guide - This succeeds because of its simplicity.  Three minutes long, an upfront riff and chorus, plus a brief, effective guitar break.  Still compared to 'Sun And Steel' it pales.  Something isn't heavy about it or much of the album.  Budget production, courtesy Martin Birch who was dumped permanently shortly after.  B+ 
11. Weekend Warrior - So here we have the crown jewel of Maiden's best of the worst.  A gritty and uncompromising tale of the madness of soccer hooliganism from Steve, who almost fell into the trap as a youth supporting West Ham in the mid 70's.  It makes you think about how hooligans were destroying the game doesn't it?  How about the hard hitting lyrics?  'The game begins, the adrenaline's high, feel the tension, maybe someone will die'...must have taken weeks to get that.  I mean people die at every game don't they?  Musically a piece of shit.  Nothing more or less.  Never has utter garbage been so great.  Well maybe not 'Blood On The Worlds Hands'.  'What you gonna do on Monday'?  A
12. Fear Of The Dark - Obviously one of the lasting 'classics' that survives in Maiden's setlist to this day (I think).  Some welcome fast breaks after the shock of 'Weekend Warriors', but I really wouldn't care if I never heard it again.  B

Average Song Rating:  C+
Overall Album Rating:  A

Also be sure to read:
Iron Maiden - A Real Dead One Quick Reviews by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Dance Of Death by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Killers by Horatio
Iron Maiden - No Prayer For The Dying by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Number Of The Beast by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Powerslave by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Somewhere In Time by Horatio
Iron Maiden - The X Factor Quick Reviews by Horatio
Iron Maiden - Virtual XI by Horatio