KickedInTheFace.com

Metal Reviews testimonials Go here to discuss this review

Ill Niño - Revolution Revolución
2001 Road Runner Records
Ill Nino - Revolution Revolución

Track Listing:
1.  God Save Us 
2.  If You Still Hate Me
3.  Unreal
4.  Nothing's Clear
5.  What Comes Around
6.  Liar
7.  Rumba
8.  Predisposed
9.  I Am Loco
10. No Murder
11. Rip Out Your Eyes
12. Revolution/Revolución
13. With You
14. Fallen
15. Eye For And Eye (live)
16. God Save Us (live)
17. What Comes Around (Spanish Version)
18. Unreal (Spanish Version) 

Line-Up:
Vocals:  Christian Machado
Guitars:  Jardel Paisante, Marc Rizzo
Bass:  Lazaro Pina
Drums:  Dave Chavarri
Percussion:  Roger Vasquez
DJ:  Roger Vasquez

Website:  www.illnino.com

Skin Splitter's Rating:  D
Average Album Rating:  D

Also be sure to read:
Ill Niño - Confession by Skin Splitter
Marc Rizzo - Colossal Myopia by Skin Splitter
Soulfly - Dark Ages
(Marc Rizzo) by Horatio

Skin Splitter's Review:
We all like Spanish.  Spanish Rice, burritos, and cool haircuts, but the Spanish language mixed into my metal is like mixing piss with Corona, salty and foul tasting.  What does this have to do with Ill Nino?  After listening to this, you'll feel the same way.  My complaining starts with you, Christian.  You have the ability to sing like Burton C. Bell, but instead you sound like you have your voice going through a case of puberty.  And the concept of Spanish in metal is a good idea, however, your thought of going from English verse to Spanish verse is just plain dumb.  What the hell are you saying?  Wait, why do I care?  The best line you say in this entire album is, "If you still hate me you're thinking of me".  After that, I could care less what you say, but I can't even ignore you if you keep switching languages.

While I'm at it, I'm also going to talk about your band members.  First off you have a completely useless bassist.  I don't think he even plays.  I think you found him on a cold winter’s night out in Bound Brook, New Jersey looking cold and beaten huddled in a box of his own kitty litter with his summer clothes wrapped in his dreads (I think they are still in his hair and can be seen in the booklet).  But you took him into the warmth of a four-wall environment, he drank you under the table, and he taught you all about Tequila and Cannabis.

You have two drummers and the tracks they produced are abominable.  Dave Lombardo could do both your drummer's drum parts with one arm and a broken leg.  Dave Chavarri is a big King Diamond/Mercyful Fate fan.  He has good double bass and his arm speed is also good.  I mean, sweet merciful Montezuma!  Use him to his fullest capability.  Don't make him have to slow down for Roger, who by the way looks like a fifteen year old white midget with bongos.  Let the man eat his Chimichangas (I think twelve a day is fine, don't you?), and rip the hell out of the skins!

You don't need two guitar players.  You only need one.  His name is Marc Rizzo.  Don't believe me?  Have you heard Soulfly's Dark Ages and the song "Frontlines?"  He did all the riffs, all the solos, and all the acoustic parts on that song.  Max just had to growl.  Sir Rizzo also did a solo album called "Colossal Myopia" that has enough guitar shredding and flamenco style to make flaming crosses shoot out of the pope’s ass!  But he can't even get his shred on because he has to come up with something that your rhythm guitarist, who by the way looks like half the time he's thinking about hookers and how to hide the herpes from them, can play.  It's a good thing that after this album, your most talented member left.

You'll notice I'm not talking about the album, you figure it out.  But for those who really want to know, Ill Nino sounds like a Spanish version of Limp Bizkit and Incubus (post-S.C.I.E.N.C.E.).  All you have to do is listen to the first four songs and then try really hard to not imagine them in concert with Staind.  This is an album that someone who loves radio metal would put in on a first date on a car ride to watch "Harry Potter 54: Harry Potter And The Magical Hip Replacement" just to show the other how "badass" they really are.  I also label this a sing-along album when you’re doing something like knitting or when it's time for PJ's and tea.

The saddest part of this entire event is that this is their best album (with the exception of one song off of "One Nation Underground" called "This Is War") with their best songs.  You have now heard the best that Ill Nino has to offer.  And I had the luxury of getting the extended version that will make you want that one hour and four minutes back for your life.

If you claim that they are a "live band" then you best be aware that after Marc Rizzo left, he claimed that Ill Nino recorded their entire concerts and that they weren’t even plugged in when playing.  And that is from the guy in your band who wore a backpack live and did a jumping spin kick.  Yeah, Marc it was cool once, but let your guitar mastery speak instead.  The rest of you look like you're all prostitutes and it's raining 50's in your house.  A lot of hair, a lot of jumping around, a lot of fake magical experiences and not a lot of business getting done. 
Skin Splitter's Rating:  D

Discography (last updated 6.7.06):
Ill Nino EP - 2000
Revolution Revolución - 2001
Confession - 2003
One Nation Underground - 2005