Hammerfall - Chapter V:  Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken
2005 Nuclear Blast

Track Listing:
1.  Secrets
2.  Blood Bound
3.  Fury Of The Wild
4.  Hammer Of Justice
5.  Never, Ever
6.  Born To Rule
7.  The Templar Flame 
8.  Imperial
9.  Take The Black
10. Knights Of The 21st Century

Line-Up:
Vocals:  Joacim Cans
Guitars:  Oscar Dronjak, Stefan Elmgren
Bass:  Magnus Rosen
Drums:  Anders Johansson

Website:  www.hammerfall.net

Horatio's Rating:  F
Average Album Rating:  F

Also be sure to read:
Hammerfall - Crimson Thunder by Horatio

Horatio's Review:
Serious questions must be asked to Hammerfall's worth as a leading light in the traditional metal stakes.  2002's 'Crimson Thunder' was wretched at best, ranking with the worst of Megadeth or The Scorpions, futile and bland power metal that I've heard too many times to appreciate as classic metal.  I find my stance on this subject bizarre, as I would have defended this to the death in 1996 when metal was been pilloried by all and sundry.  But a decade later I'm not as blind or deaf to the truth.  The music is putrid.  In the interim between albums a member of the band was reportedly assaulted in a club attack, the perpetrators no doubt as sickened by Hammerfall's worn out metal heroics as I am.  Unfortunately, the band bounced back and have returned with an album identical to the last one, with the same themes and musical ideas.  Someone sent the CD to me, which was the only way I would have ever listened to it.  Who else remembers when these turkeys were feted as the next big thing in metal?  It's hard isn't it.  I was 22 then.  I might have believed it in 1998.  Mind you I also believed that Megadeth would return to thrash one day also.

I reviewed this for another site, and listening to the album again for this review is unbearable.  What's the point of singling out individual songs?  Do you want me to tell you that 'Secrets' is a bombastic slice of anthemic metal which recalls the genres glory days of the 1980's?  That's what Hammerfall would want me to say.  Actually these geezers are quite old, a couple in their forties, but I always get the impression they are forcing themselves to adopt their Manowar-like devotion to metal.  Ramblings about being brothers of metal and all is fine if accompanied by a wall of noise, but here the music is twenty fifth rate Euro metal with shite Swedish vocals.  Maybe if they hired Pete Goalby they might be more listenable.  'Hammer Of Justice' raises a laugh or two with the chorus, but where's the steam?  The power?  Half baked riffs and sickly melodies with harmonies that every power metal band out of Europe pillages, making them all indistinguishable.  As expected, a token ballad is tossed in, 'Never, Ever', while titles like 'The Templar Flame' and 'Fury Of The Wild' put me to sleep without listening.  Album closer 'Knights Of The 21st Century' drags on for twelve minutes, no match for Judas Priest's 'Loch Ness', while a stunning and amazing twist appears in the shape of medieval instrumental 'Imperial'.  Enough of this.  A lucky dip on the Media Player instead.  Paul Davis, 'Cool Night'.  That's more like it.  Even if I was paid to do this I'd still write the same words.  Seven years of writing and still I've not made a cent. 

( Hello.  I am Horatio's brother Coogan.  Sadly I found Horatio dead in his seat, having committed suicide by stabbing himself in the heart.  This review was on the screen.  I am sending it on as a tribute to my fallen sibling.  Horatio was disillusioned that he was an edgy, broke loser at the age of thirty and unable to support his family, while continually mocking every band he reviewed.  Horatio Touhy RIP: 1958-2005)
Horatio's Rating:  F